“Pressed from the same brutish mold, the two men that approached the ticket booth stood out sharply from the regular carnival patrons.”
Based on the first line alone:
- What do you think the story is about?
- Would you keep reading?
- Is it grammatically correct?
- Is this a good idea to keep doing?
Happy Sunday, my lovely readers!
I’ve got another idea for what could be a recurring feature on the blog. I’m going to post the first line of one of my short stories, and you get to critique it. Tell me it sucks, tell me if it’s confusing, tell me you want to read more. If it inspires you to write something of your own, post a link in the comments and I’ll re-blog and tweet it.
This will probably become a recurring Friday feature (because I like the alliteration of First Line Friday) but I’ll go ahead and post one now as an example.
“Her fingertips tapped an absentminded pattern on the bed frame, the hollow echo of metal on metal muffled by muscle and skin.”
Now it’s your turn, inter-webs. Let me know what you think!